Skateboarding in London and Memories of a Vacuum Cleaning Kind.

VAX was the king of the acid drop. A stunt performed by rolling your skateboard off a high ledge, keeping the board parallel with the street, and landing with ankle crushing glory on unforgiving concrete.

Does anyone acid drop anymore?

Seems so 1989 somehow.

The South Bank and Waterloo, where we smashed our trucks and wheels and chipped our decks as the homeless screamed and cursed and shouted at us through their mid-morning super-strength cardboard city deliriums.

Cold winds across the Thames, a sandwich at the Greek place where the owner challenged a gang of hoods who were robbing us of what we cherished most; our boards.

The Southbank where the city installed metal barriers blocking our terrain and in response we built a ramp from plywood liberated from a nearby building site thus defiantly grinded their metal barriers. Yes. The Southbank: The mecca of theatre, music, dance, the home of performance art.

 That was our place: Southbank.

VAX earned his moniker through sponsorship with the vacuum cleaner manufacturers who mass-produced the almighty VAX cleaning machine. Some of us had sponsors from local skate shops, some were skating for Deathbox, the British board makers, but most of us were doing it because we needed the discipline of learning an art and our homes and schools were for the most part unwelcoming.

We never questioned why a domestic cleaning firm would sponsor a thirty-odd year old skateboarder. Why should we?

Rule number one?

Never question the street.

Watch VAX go.

The ledge, the height of a man’s head, above a flight of fifteen or so stairs at the Shell Centre Waterloo, VAX wearing his battered T-shirt bearing the logo of his sponsor, rolls, teeth gritted, reaches the edge, drops... Time stands motionless as he falls, knees bent slightly, eyes perfectly focussed, the sound of victory as his slime ball wheels hit the concrete and that beautiful whoosh of poetry in motion as he propels forward. Us unruly teenagers stop grinding our respective lips to clap and cheer “Go VAX! Yeah!”

The truth, as every unruly schoolboy knows, is that the acid drop is the first trick any skate kid learns, it is as easy as falling off a log, or rolling off a kerb. Any fool can do it. A brutishly simple trick, moreover a waste of a good ledge potentially decorated with the skill of an ollie impossible, the verve of a flip, or indeed the arrogance of a melancholy mute grab; the tricks we were mastering were complex.

So why cheer VAX?

Perhaps VAX didn’t pose a threat to us? Maybe VAX would never be in the pages of R.A.D or Skateboarding, were we humouring an older man living out some deluded dream? Were we taunting him?

No it wasn’t that.

The trick that we were applauding was not the acid drop it was VAX’s life choice. VAX, the same age as many of our fathers, had made a decision not to conform, not to be one of suit wearing dudes who looked down on us as they lost their hair in upmarket bistros choking down watercress salad and studying the Financial Times.

VAX was never going to be one of those guys, he was cut from different cloth. VAX knew that the City would one day fall. VAX was living the life he wanted to live.

VAX took chances, snaked around the streets, made his own agenda.

Years later I'd got the suit and tie job and the house in the suburbs, slumped on the sofa watching some brain numbing crap there's a knock at the door. Some old fool selling cleaning equipment door to door.

After closing the door a thought occurred.

No it couldn't be.

Could it?

I opened the front door a crack and took another look...

A traveling salesman skated away...

The Beat Goes On

JAMES NEWMAN ON THE TELLY

DESTINATION THAILAND and BANGKOK POST TV are showing series of television interviews with writers and creative expats based in Thailand. Hosted by Keith Nolan, one of Bangkok's finest musicians the show is set to feature Christopher G. Moore and many others soon.

I happened to be the first person to be interviewed for the show. You can see the interview on several cable channels in Thailand over the next week or watch the interview by clicking the link below....

EDIT/ UPDATE. September 2016. Since first airing the Beyond The Lines show has now interviewed many more wirters based in Bangkok including Dean Barrett, John Burdett, Joe Cummings, Christopher Moore, Hugh Gallagher, Tim Hallinan, Jim Newport, and Jake Needham.


The Beat Goes On.

A Case of Noir and Vortex

A Case of Noir

Paul D. Brazill
With Lite Editions.

Paul D. Brazill’s world here is one of peroxide Berliner blondes wearing PVC raincoats with blood red lipstick smeared across their lips.  Barbarous gangsters and shyster scam artists, drunken literary agents and pop producers shelter in cities ruined by war and Vodka, drenched by decadence, spent of hope, driven by desire. Here we meet protagonist Luke Case who is drifting on a stream of booze and loose women from Poland to Madrid to Granada to London and then Cambridge  where he finds himself at a well observed and illustrated literary crime festival - the majority of the guests seem to  be enthusing over something called Nordic Noir – whatever that was.

Pic from www.pauldbrazill.com

Witty observations, a shady past, and a name that  conjures up images of coffee and nuts. Sly references to Molly Drake and The Last Words of Dutch Schultz keep things interesting plus of course the use of FADE IN FADE OUTS, camera directions... These are welcome  touches.

Bleak yet humorous landscapes fertilized with witty dialogue and sewn up with spare descriptions. Brazill doesn’t waste words, instead he plays with the images they provoke and he has more ways to describe a hangover than there are ways to create one - Shards of sunlight sliced through the slats in the blinds, like a kick in the eye from a stiletto heel.

My only reservation was later in the book backstory was explained perhaps for those who hadn’t been paying attention or maybe the stories were written separately and then later welded together.... Either way it read like a slight slip in confidence in an otherwise bold journey .    

It matters not really for this is a great slice of Noir from an assured talent. Brazill is to crime fiction what a Guinness and Champagne is to a cocktail party.

I read A Case of Noir twice in one sitting. Recommended dark Euro sleaze for lovers of the black stuff and on Amazon HERE Or visit the author HERE  

 

Vortex

Matt Carrell.
With Linden Tree

A few pages in there was no turning back from Vortex. Guess there was a clue in the title. Carrell understands the need to raise stakes and build tension to keep the reader hooked in this accomplished novel which I'll loosely describe as a financial thriller set in a tropical locale.

We follow the building and eventual collapse of a branch of an investment bank in the Far East. Most novels should have an overall message and the message that settles after Vortex has fallen is something along the lines of - Trust No One.

 

This is a story of greed and deceit in the shady world of investment management. A world that the author obviously knows well. Well enough to detail an elaborate scam unfold from cradle to grave. People get hurt, careers ruined, relationships faked and drugs taken... The prize of one billion dollars sits before the winner proving if any proof be needed that the greed for hard currency is indeed at the root of all evil. Vortex is described as a whirlpool  - get too close and you get drawn in and thrown to the depths of the ocean. This a page turner and once you're in, you'd better have a few spare hours. 

If I were to be picky I might say that the book can give too much information at times. This is, however, a problem with crime novels when they are based on politics, law or in this instance, finance. Too much technical details needs to be explained to make the story legit....Slip the information into dialogue and it would read like the script for a made-for-TV-movie.

Carrell has made a brave choice to inform in narrative which he does without devaluing the story. What we have here is not only an entertaining yarn but also an informative look at the world of corporate investment slugs and a peep into how and why capitalism often fails all but the super-rich.       

Look forward to reading more from the author starting with the football book A Matter of Life and Death. You can find Vortex HERE and visit the author HERE

Joe Dylan's Hangover Cure,

Warhol wouldn't do this....

NOW, AS we all know Joe Dylan is no stranger to the odd 'lost weekend.' Owing to this and with our own livers in mind we thought we would catch up with Dylan for his advice on a handy hangover remedy. We hand you over to Joe Dylan, hangover expert and private investigator.

JD: It's all about preparation and foresight which are unfortunately two tools normally absent form your average alcoholics toolkit. What the hell, here's a simple cure that seems to do the trick. And let's face it when you're waking up feeling like there's a nest of rats scratching to escape your noodle its time to get wise and get wise quick. You need a plan. You need to prepare. You'll need:

Vitamin C 1000mg x 3
Vitamin B Complex 1000mg x 3
Tuna - 1 can
Corn soup - 1 can
Macaroni - 250 grams.
Water - 3 liters.
Electrolyte powder - 3 sachets
Tomato juice - 1 large carton
Gatorade - 1 bottle.

It may seem like a good idea to reach for the headache pills or even the bottle of booze that stung you but that just prolongs the agony. You could play around with combinations of headache pills, antihistamines, benzodiazepines or even, say morphine. Try to avoid this.

Now I'm a herbalist and I don't mean Satan's cabbage neither. That stuff gives me the horrors. Now I've given up the devil's bargain and let me tell you, I'm no quitter when it comes to quitting.

You know that. Don't ya?

Vitamins C an B are great at getting the liver back working and when your liver is in shape you're good to go on the next bender, I mean, next blender juice diet. These 1000 mil tablets can be bought over the counter in Fun City. Not sure where you are but those 25, 50 or 100 mil tablets in a container won't touch a hangover detox unless you take a lot. So check the dosage.

The tomato juice is packed full of stuff like potassium, the tuna pure protein which is plain and easy to digest as is the soup. The electrolyte powders are used by athletes and alcoholics alike to rehydrate the body after some serious exercise, ditto the Gatorade.

Here's the steps, man.

Step 1. Arrive back to your cold water apartment smashed out of your skull.
Step 2. Down that bottle of Gatorade along with one Vitamin C and one B.
Step 3. Wake up feeling like there's a nuclear explosion in your head. But don't worry, baby, the worse is yet to come.
Step 4. Take that carton of tomato juice (don't add any voddy to that you cheeky scamp) add ice to a glass and chug away the whole carton along with another B and C vitamin tablet.
Step 5. Heat water in a pan and add the macaroni. Cook until soft and tender like your liver.
Step 6. Add the tuna and corn soup. Try not to spew in the broth.
Step 7. Stir and then add a little to a plate. Eat a little at a time until the B and C's kick in giving the liver the all clear to keep on going. You might start shaking, this is normal. Well abnormal but normal considering the fact you had all the morals of a god darn sewer rat last night. Don't eat the whole macaroni dish.
Step 8. Take a large pint glass of water and add the electrolytes. Drink it down. Now's the time you might heave up that bowl of golden goodness. That's why I said leave some for later, stupid.
Step 9. Take a nap.
Step 10. Wake up. Get some exercise. Go for a walk. A jog if you do that sort of thing.
Step 11. Drink the remaining water. Feeling better now?
Step 12. Consider taking the 12 steps, because buddy, you got a drinking problem and you know it.

The Beat Goes On.
 .

Gruesome Playground Injuries.

"Gruesome Playground Injuries."


A review.

The title dragged my mind towards Luke Haines who wrote "Murder After Park," and "Unsolved Child Murder."

These songs were both brilliant. They asked questions and delayed answers which as every schoolboy knows is what the thing we call 'art' is all about. Haines was an artist, a musician and an author.

Thus far, he hasn't won any awards but has won my admiration and those of the few who still follow him.

He also once wrote a play.

Never got produced.

Like mine.

But we are not bitter.

Better to peel the next lemon than cry over the one you once sucked dry,

Peel the limelight.

Gruesome Playground Injuries by Ragiv Joseph.

I was won over by the cast and crew of this Bangkok performance. Especially during the questions and answers section. That's not to say I was glad it was over. I wasn't. I just enjoyed and envy the cast and crew. It was an extremely tough production executed professionally.

The story is about a stalker, an obsessive lover who follows his desire through the ages of his self-abuse and destruction. The woman of his dreams reluctant as she sees him for what he is.

A loser.

A meditation of the pain of love. Gruesome Playground Injuries. Remember. That which we cling to too strongly will eventually destroy us. This, I believe is the message of the play.

Try squeezing a glass of the finest wine too tightly. It will break. You will lose both your wine and your glass and quite possibly your best drinking joint, Your sanity might also break. Do not stalk women, even childhood friends.

Past lovers, real or imagined, are in your past for a reason.

Keep them there.

Do  not hold on too tightly to anyone because they will eventually let you down.

Trust me.

A cast of two, Siree Riewpaiboon and Jaime Zúñiga. both disturbed in their roles, both clueless in love, perhaps demonstrative of a society I left behind years ago. Both actors delivered the lines with passion and verve. Well crafted performances......The plot follows their relationship through the twists and turns and avenues of a troubled time... Hospital beds, walking sticks, love to the end.....

Why are they are both so dysfunctional, perhaps this is the point of this production. Why? We don't know. Perhaps the reason we are all dysfunctional, bad parenting and shitty religions.

Wonderful direction by Peter O'Neil, who was a real gentleman in person and a great man in every sense of the phrase. If anyone deserves to be producing plays it is Peter,

My only quibble is with Shakespeare. He started it. Everything you watch on HBO and the cinema screen began with Shakey.

He bloody started it.

Now lets get on with it.

Drama, death, murder, revenge.

We see this on the streets of Bangkok.

I demand more on the stage.

I demand a murder.

NOW!

The Beat Goes On..

Night of Noir 2015

THINGS REALLY got started when an author by the name of Christopher G. Moore wrote and published a book called A Killing Smile in the early 90s Bangkok. This groundbreaking novel was dark and menacing, brave, humorous, a meditation on the underbelly of the city of Sin.  An expose of an exciting city at one of her most exciting times – Bangkok at night, millions flock to admire her night markets, her bars, food stalls, her endless strips of neon blinking under her starless light. There are no stars in the Bangkok night for they are all on the street. Look at them. Here they are. Buck-toothed street vendors, spikey transsexuals, immaculate prostitutes hand in hand with tattooed Vikings. Men with beards, beggars dragging their crippled bodies along the streets, the man who looks like he swallowed a golf ball sells watches to tourists. Have you seen him? Other books followed including The Big Mango by Jake Needham, Skytrain to Murder by Dean Barrett, Kicking Dogs by Collin Piprell and Private Dancer by Stephen Leather. The mainstream commercial world of literature paid full attention when the talented John Burdett and Timothy Hallinan achieved international acclaim and success with their respective Bangkok based series. Bangkok was in. 

 

The internet followed and Stickman launched his hugely successful site. The visual arts took note with Chris Coles bursting onto the scene with expressionist paintings that perhaps capture the Bangkok night life better than any other medium. Then came the music with Cambodian’s internationally acclaimed band Krom led by Christopher Minko. The movement gains speed with Poet Noir John Gartland.  Perhaps the final piece of the jigsaw puzzle fell into place when the bar and restaurant Checkinn99 run by Chris Catto-Smith opened his arms to the arts and finally the movement had a headquarters. Once a year we celebrate this artistic movement with music and readings and displays of art and photography at the Checkinn99 between Sukhumvit Sois 5 and 7.

Be there on January 8^th 2015 to enjoy a celebration of an artistic movement. James Newman is to host a cast of authors including Tom Vater, Dean Barrett, Jame Dibiasio,  Harlan Wolfe, Thom Locke, John Daysh, and Poet Noir John Garland. Art exhibition by Chris Coles and photography showcase by Stickman. Hosted by James A. Newman January 8th 2015.